My Adventures, Uncategorized

Better Day.

What a wonderful after being extremely sick for the last three weeks. Today was my husbands birthday so we enjoyed the sunshine at one of our favorite towns. Felt so good to get out and about. Doesn’t that quinoa bowl look amazing! I brought half of it home for dinner.

About a week ago I decided to go gluten free and it’s already shown a huge difference, and most of my clothes are extremely loose. I guess I have a excuse to go shopping for new clothes. Hubby actually insisted on a beautiful black dress that was on clearance and a necklace he thought was perfect for me. I am excited to wear it for Mother’s Day and the ladies tea at church.

Like I said, the last the last three weeks have been rough. The first two was a fibromyalgia flare, followed by four days of sore muscles, nausea and migraines, and all the sudden I was just tired and yesterday everything happened at once. I finally went to the doctor and they thought I maybe had diverticulitis but thankfully I didn’t. It’s been rough and at nights it’s the worse, and I feel like giving up, but having my husband next to me every night and comforting me and lifting me up in Christ, I know that I must give this trial to God because he knows my future.

My family has been my rock. We spend all of our time together when the girls aren’t in school, which may change next school year depending if the girls want to be homeschooled or not; right now it’s up to them and based on my health and what God wants us to do. We have our little spits and arguments but we always come back together. Family is extremely important to my husband and I because we never had a strong family growing up. So far, I have literally everything I ever dreamed of.

Even though I struggle through my chronic illnesses, I know I must pick myself up and continue. Through prayer, I am able to bring myself together and move on. It’s never been that way, and it has meant I have had to give up many things that were of the world, but it’s been worth it.

Through the blood of Jesus Christ all my sins have been washed away, and because of that I am free and wish this upon everyone. I have fallen rock bottom many times but God picks me up when before I relied on other people or myself which made it even harder. God is the answer. Better is one day in his courts, as the worship song says.

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Another Rollercoaster

Today I had my follow-up for my spine injections. I had my second injection just about three weeks ago and the relief was none. My doctor is now sending me to a neurosurgeon for an opinion as to what the next path of treatment will be.

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Yay! (😒) Just another specialist to add to my crazy list of doctors who are part of my chronic illness journey. Friday I see the general surgeon for the lipomas on my back, so that should be interesting. Meanwhile while waiting for my doctor to come into my exam room, my gynecologist who specializes in over half of my invisible illness gave me the news that I have a bladder infection inside of my bladder that’s diseased with interstitial cystitis, which explains why I am having horrible pain around my pelvic area. Oh! And I am still waiting on rheumatology.

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Truth be told, I’m scared. My pain is an eight and goes up to a ten at night. All of my body had been in some sort of flare for five days now. My degenerative disc disease and bluffed discs at L4/S1 are is creating my left leg to go dead and pain in my left hip, that is flaring up my pelvic floor myalgia, the bladder is flared from the infection, and all of those flared up my fibromyalgia. Yesterday I slept all day and couldn’t even leave my bed. So yeah, I’m all sorts of flares! img_3201

Life isn’t easy. The trials we face are of all different sorts which teach us lessons as we go through the journey. When my journey all started ten years ago and they kept telling me that I needed to see multiple specialists, I would immediately go into a panic attack, but today I didn’t. Today was different and there was just one reason why: my relationship with God. Plus the fact my husband is with me, that always helps. img_3239

The closer I have become to God the easier my life has become, but that doesn’t just come freely. It’s a relationship, a continuous and faithful one at that. That’s what gives me this freedom. As relationships with others consist of mutual love and respect, it is the same with our relationship with God. If we expect something from God yet don’t give him what He has clearly written in God’s Word (trust, faith in Him, the list goes on), that’s not truly a relationship with Him. Do you constantly ask your friends or spouse to do something and when they ask of something of you, you completely ignore it? Is that a relationship? Nope.

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Because I have been listening to Gods Word and trusting what it says and Him in general, I have been able to get through my trials and this journey much better. It has also opened many doors for me and our family in ways I can’t even imagine. Sure, I’m being sent to yet another specialist and am not healed or even close to it, but I trust His plan because He is the maker of me and my future. I have no right to intervene with our maker, and He knows what’s best for me. I used to fight and try to solve issues by my own ways, and it would just cause me further pain, both emotionally and physically. But once I gave my trust unto God, I have peace because when I pray, and I mean truly pray and have a full conversation with God, and after learning how to discern His voice, I know everything will be ok and He is using these trials to help others and to show me where He wants to use me in this world.

One learns the deepest meaning of faith during the biggest trials of their lives. Sure, this is going to be a new and crazy rollercoaster ride because of the new specialists being added, but I’m ready. I am chronically faithful and forever will be because my future has already been written and He is showing me a little at a time.

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Twitter: the Attack against Christians and God

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Recently my husband and I have constantly been asked why God doesn’t stop Satan from doing evil, or why God doesn’t heal everyone; basically why God doesn’t intervene during something that is considered bad. Little did I know it would just end up an attack on my faith. I’m not expert, but I do have God’s Word.

After I left Facebook, which was thankfully before the whole scandal happened, Rick and I decided we would give a try to Twitter, not knowing just how hate filled it was towards Christians, but the Bible clearly states that we should not be ashamed and to be disciples unto Him. Having chronic illnesses, that usually mean me being in bed all day when my girls are at school, what better place to share God’s Word on Twitter, and that’s how this blog post came to being.

When the original question was brought up, I immediately shared Romans 9:22 which gives what I think is a pretty clear picture. We can’t answer to all the bad, except that due to the fact God has given us the free will to accept Jesus Christ as our Personal Savior or not, many of this world is following Satan’s path and not the one of God.

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My personal examples are as follows: I personally have multiple chronic illnesses and am still battling them. I am unable to do what I used to and have lost count of procedures. God hasn’t healed me, but what I have learned throughout this decade of fighting my illnesses is that this was God’s way to bring me where He wants me, which is closer to Him and trusting Him in everything. I have gone through so many trials when I was wondering in the darkness, and He allowed bad things to happen to me. It was a wake- up call for me. Yes, I am not healed, and many would say that this is not love from God, and I say it is; like a father raises up his daughter or son. We must learn what it’s like without Him to truly understand how much we need Him. My oldest daughter was born with a severe birth defect called a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. She had basically died 3 times, and we prayed so much while in the NICU, and during the times she would crash, we prayed even harder and had mass texts sent to 400 people. She revived. She is now healthy, but is borderline deaf and has some other medical issues, but she know’s God is real and has had her own personal experiences with Him, as of I. God IS real.

And then this is what I get from those on Twitter as I share my faith.

We are called to disciple, and yes, when we are attacked especially on our faith, it’s easy to shut down and surrender to Satan, but how else do we plant the mustard seeds throughout the world? How else will anyone hear the good news that God gives, even though many unbelievers will use scripture to tear you down. As Christians, and especially stay in God’s Word, we know the truth. In Hebrews 4:12 it says “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of thoughts and intents of the heart.” Use God’s Word in battle of the spirits.

Even though I am being attacked on social media for my faith, I won’t back down and I WILL continue to use God’s Word for the greater good. Right now we must stand up for God more than ever. Raise up our children for Him, stay in His Word daily and in prayer, and we can do anything, through Christ Jesus.

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