My Adventures, Uncategorized

Better Day.

What a wonderful after being extremely sick for the last three weeks. Today was my husbands birthday so we enjoyed the sunshine at one of our favorite towns. Felt so good to get out and about. Doesn’t that quinoa bowl look amazing! I brought half of it home for dinner.

About a week ago I decided to go gluten free and it’s already shown a huge difference, and most of my clothes are extremely loose. I guess I have a excuse to go shopping for new clothes. Hubby actually insisted on a beautiful black dress that was on clearance and a necklace he thought was perfect for me. I am excited to wear it for Mother’s Day and the ladies tea at church.

Like I said, the last the last three weeks have been rough. The first two was a fibromyalgia flare, followed by four days of sore muscles, nausea and migraines, and all the sudden I was just tired and yesterday everything happened at once. I finally went to the doctor and they thought I maybe had diverticulitis but thankfully I didn’t. It’s been rough and at nights it’s the worse, and I feel like giving up, but having my husband next to me every night and comforting me and lifting me up in Christ, I know that I must give this trial to God because he knows my future.

My family has been my rock. We spend all of our time together when the girls aren’t in school, which may change next school year depending if the girls want to be homeschooled or not; right now it’s up to them and based on my health and what God wants us to do. We have our little spits and arguments but we always come back together. Family is extremely important to my husband and I because we never had a strong family growing up. So far, I have literally everything I ever dreamed of.

Even though I struggle through my chronic illnesses, I know I must pick myself up and continue. Through prayer, I am able to bring myself together and move on. It’s never been that way, and it has meant I have had to give up many things that were of the world, but it’s been worth it.

Through the blood of Jesus Christ all my sins have been washed away, and because of that I am free and wish this upon everyone. I have fallen rock bottom many times but God picks me up when before I relied on other people or myself which made it even harder. God is the answer. Better is one day in his courts, as the worship song says.

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Holding On

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The last few weeks as I stated a few days ago have been rough for me. Not only did I go through a two week fibromyalgia flare, but after it ended I then had to go through the aftermath of sore and twitching muscles and fatigue. It’s been like this for many years.

I used to not do very well when I went through a long flare like this, but this time was different and it’s only by the grace of God that I was able to hold on.

May is going to be a month of “who knows”. Many appointments and procedures, but I am ready. God has a plan for me, and I am already being led down the path, I just have to hold on. I am going through these medical trials to shine the light for others, and I know that is what I have been called to do. It’s not always easy, but I can say with all certainty that it’s worth it and makes us stronger, but only if we stay in prayer and the word. I have been doing daily devotionals and reading through the Bible every day. I keep a prayer journal just because I have found it easier for me to pray while I write. Whatever works for you. Just give all your burdens and struggles to God, and you will be led and these trials will become easier to go through because you aren’t doing it alone.

I spent way to many years trying to figure out my health on my own, and that was a mistake. I had more stress and fell into a deep depression, but this last flare I found joy and became more thankful for what was given to me and my eyes were opened to just how blessed I was. Pretty clear that if we accept Jesus as our Savior and give our lives to Him, happiness becomes more evident.

So today when I went to church, I was reminded by how much we are loved and if we give our lives to Jesus Christ, we are new and cleansed, and will be carried through our trials. Plus, my church family is always there for me.

You don’t have to go through these trials alone. Give them to Jesus Christ and live your life for Him, and He will lead you and carry you through. He has with me and is continuing.

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Faith

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Today has already been a rough day. The pain has been great, and honestly I have had a little trouble emotionally. I prayed to God asking what I should do to help me get through this, and He answered that I should focus on sharing my faith and story. It’s easy for me to get caught up with the fact that my body is going against me and I want to just bawl in bed, but instead I am praying every time I feel like crying, and God gives me peace.

Faith is something that I haven’t always had during my now decade long journey of chronic illnesses, and I can tell you during the time without it, I was miserable. With me being miserable, my family was miserable also. Without God, I can’t get through these trials.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of our faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that hew ill receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. -James 1:1-8 NKJV

Because I remain in faith, God has been showing me how faithful and righteous He really is. I am personally experiencing what the Bible tells us we will. He has even opened doors for me and my family that I never thought were a option. God’s plan and timing is perfect, and once we acknowledge that, you will feel peace as well. It breaks my heart when a fellow brother or sister in Christ loses their faith because of impatience. God’s timing is perfect, and many times He may say no to something we personally feel is best for us. God knows our future and by faith He will help us through this journey.

Faith is so important, it clearly states it in the book of James. Have you fully given your trials to God, or are you trying to tackle them yourself?

-Shanell

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Another Rollercoaster

Today I had my follow-up for my spine injections. I had my second injection just about three weeks ago and the relief was none. My doctor is now sending me to a neurosurgeon for an opinion as to what the next path of treatment will be.

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Yay! (😒) Just another specialist to add to my crazy list of doctors who are part of my chronic illness journey. Friday I see the general surgeon for the lipomas on my back, so that should be interesting. Meanwhile while waiting for my doctor to come into my exam room, my gynecologist who specializes in over half of my invisible illness gave me the news that I have a bladder infection inside of my bladder that’s diseased with interstitial cystitis, which explains why I am having horrible pain around my pelvic area. Oh! And I am still waiting on rheumatology.

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Truth be told, I’m scared. My pain is an eight and goes up to a ten at night. All of my body had been in some sort of flare for five days now. My degenerative disc disease and bluffed discs at L4/S1 are is creating my left leg to go dead and pain in my left hip, that is flaring up my pelvic floor myalgia, the bladder is flared from the infection, and all of those flared up my fibromyalgia. Yesterday I slept all day and couldn’t even leave my bed. So yeah, I’m all sorts of flares! img_3201

Life isn’t easy. The trials we face are of all different sorts which teach us lessons as we go through the journey. When my journey all started ten years ago and they kept telling me that I needed to see multiple specialists, I would immediately go into a panic attack, but today I didn’t. Today was different and there was just one reason why: my relationship with God. Plus the fact my husband is with me, that always helps. img_3239

The closer I have become to God the easier my life has become, but that doesn’t just come freely. It’s a relationship, a continuous and faithful one at that. That’s what gives me this freedom. As relationships with others consist of mutual love and respect, it is the same with our relationship with God. If we expect something from God yet don’t give him what He has clearly written in God’s Word (trust, faith in Him, the list goes on), that’s not truly a relationship with Him. Do you constantly ask your friends or spouse to do something and when they ask of something of you, you completely ignore it? Is that a relationship? Nope.

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Because I have been listening to Gods Word and trusting what it says and Him in general, I have been able to get through my trials and this journey much better. It has also opened many doors for me and our family in ways I can’t even imagine. Sure, I’m being sent to yet another specialist and am not healed or even close to it, but I trust His plan because He is the maker of me and my future. I have no right to intervene with our maker, and He knows what’s best for me. I used to fight and try to solve issues by my own ways, and it would just cause me further pain, both emotionally and physically. But once I gave my trust unto God, I have peace because when I pray, and I mean truly pray and have a full conversation with God, and after learning how to discern His voice, I know everything will be ok and He is using these trials to help others and to show me where He wants to use me in this world.

One learns the deepest meaning of faith during the biggest trials of their lives. Sure, this is going to be a new and crazy rollercoaster ride because of the new specialists being added, but I’m ready. I am chronically faithful and forever will be because my future has already been written and He is showing me a little at a time.

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Twitter: the Attack against Christians and God

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Recently my husband and I have constantly been asked why God doesn’t stop Satan from doing evil, or why God doesn’t heal everyone; basically why God doesn’t intervene during something that is considered bad. Little did I know it would just end up an attack on my faith. I’m not expert, but I do have God’s Word.

After I left Facebook, which was thankfully before the whole scandal happened, Rick and I decided we would give a try to Twitter, not knowing just how hate filled it was towards Christians, but the Bible clearly states that we should not be ashamed and to be disciples unto Him. Having chronic illnesses, that usually mean me being in bed all day when my girls are at school, what better place to share God’s Word on Twitter, and that’s how this blog post came to being.

When the original question was brought up, I immediately shared Romans 9:22 which gives what I think is a pretty clear picture. We can’t answer to all the bad, except that due to the fact God has given us the free will to accept Jesus Christ as our Personal Savior or not, many of this world is following Satan’s path and not the one of God.

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My personal examples are as follows: I personally have multiple chronic illnesses and am still battling them. I am unable to do what I used to and have lost count of procedures. God hasn’t healed me, but what I have learned throughout this decade of fighting my illnesses is that this was God’s way to bring me where He wants me, which is closer to Him and trusting Him in everything. I have gone through so many trials when I was wondering in the darkness, and He allowed bad things to happen to me. It was a wake- up call for me. Yes, I am not healed, and many would say that this is not love from God, and I say it is; like a father raises up his daughter or son. We must learn what it’s like without Him to truly understand how much we need Him. My oldest daughter was born with a severe birth defect called a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. She had basically died 3 times, and we prayed so much while in the NICU, and during the times she would crash, we prayed even harder and had mass texts sent to 400 people. She revived. She is now healthy, but is borderline deaf and has some other medical issues, but she know’s God is real and has had her own personal experiences with Him, as of I. God IS real.

And then this is what I get from those on Twitter as I share my faith.

We are called to disciple, and yes, when we are attacked especially on our faith, it’s easy to shut down and surrender to Satan, but how else do we plant the mustard seeds throughout the world? How else will anyone hear the good news that God gives, even though many unbelievers will use scripture to tear you down. As Christians, and especially stay in God’s Word, we know the truth. In Hebrews 4:12 it says “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of thoughts and intents of the heart.” Use God’s Word in battle of the spirits.

Even though I am being attacked on social media for my faith, I won’t back down and I WILL continue to use God’s Word for the greater good. Right now we must stand up for God more than ever. Raise up our children for Him, stay in His Word daily and in prayer, and we can do anything, through Christ Jesus.

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#WomenDisciples – Be Silent No More

Recently I have been told that due to the verse in 1 Timothy 2:11-13 which states “Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.” that this means I should be completely silenced and not share the Gospel. That is completely false. Lets take a look at a few women disciples and perfect examples of women who served and spread the Gospel. The information was found in my husbands Bible from a excerpt by Mary A. Kassian, called The Bible and Women at the beginning of 2 Timothy.

Since the verse that has been thrown around at me on Twitter is from 1 Timothy, we will start and talk about Timothy’s mother and grandmother; Eunice and Lois. Paul gives them an enormous amount of credit for carefully teaching Timothy the Scripture and Doctrine of our Faith. Another interesting fact is Timothy’s father was a unbeliever, so he had no influence in his Spiritual training.

Lets go ahead and move onto 2 Timothy 3:14-17 which is a very well known verse from Paul (who is the author of both 1 and 2 Timothy) “But you must continue in things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Eunice and Lois in no way disregarded or disrespected scripture, but they held the scriptures to the highest practice and led Timothy towards Christ. They were women disciples.

Now, in absolutely NO way do I agree with women preaching. That is clear in the God’s Word that it is not of God, but women disciples, that is totally different.  2 Timothy 2:15 gives women a perfect outline for how women should use scripture, as God has commanded. “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Also Titus 2:3-4 that says “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things.” If you Google “disciple” and look at the synonyms, they include the following: follower, believer, admirer, advocate, upholder, learner, etc.

So here it is. Women should not speak above men at church. God has instructed throughout the Old Testament and the New that women should not be preachers, but are called to be disciples of God.

So here is my question: Why are we so silenced? Right now, with the world it is today, especially going on with our children, and Proverbs 31 clearly lays out our responsibility for our household, that includes to care for our husbands and children. Right now is the most important time to be #WomenDisciples and to be examples to our children. God is NOT dead, so we have no reason to be silent. Women of God, let’s spread the Gospel and train up our children and bring Jesus back where He belongs in America.

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I Made It Through

Today marked my 6th pelvic floor injection. I have suffered from pelvic floor myalgia for at least 3 years but believe more. Physical therapy didn’t do anything so the injections were the only option. And yup, that is the needle used (ouch! What is that, a foot long?)

Once a week, multiple injections and excruciating pain, but I made it through, but this isn’t the end of the journey. Not only do I suffer from pelvic floor dysfunction, I have been battling endometriosis for 10 years and Interstitial Cystitis. So I have a month and if the pain continues, they are going back in laparoscopically to check for endometriosis and to give me a hydrodistention for my IC. That would make it my 7th endo procedure and my 4th hydrodistention. But I must remember Proverbs 17:22 that states “A merry heart does good, like medicine but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

God has a plan for me. Yes He has the power to heal me, but everything that is and is to come is all for God, and I am trusting Him through it all. I will continue to be chronically faithful to Him and His plan for me.