chronic illness

Surgery Success

Today was the day my lipomas were removed, but it wasn’t an easy journey to get here.

I have been sick for the last week and yesterday it became worse. I haven’t been able to do anything; photography, blogging, nothing but sleep.

The closest thing to the outdoors has been my porch. This is a new addition that we just got in September of 2017. Mothers Day my family bought me two hanging baskets. That’s also the day when my allergies kicked in, making the cold I had already worse, then triggering a horrible flare. We almost had to call the surgery off. So the fact that I am feeling better right after surgery is a good sign of the success of removing four lipomas. They originals thought I had two but I had two others deeper into the muscle…..hmmm…..no wonder why I have been having so much back pain.

I also received news that I will be having two other procedures simultaneously June 1st; a hydrodistention for my interstitial cystitis and a removal of possible endometriosis. This will make my fourth hydrodistension and my eighth laparoscopy for endometriosis. I may have those numbers wrong because of I honestly am not completely sure if that is correct. This is also very overwhelming for me and stressful. My husband is still having to stay home to help me because it will still be a while until I am fully healed from all these procedures I have had the last six months. But I also know that God is good and there is a reason for anything and I know this by personal experience. Staying in Gods word and talking with him on a daily bases has been the key, and because of this, he blesses us in return.

“A faithful man will abound with blessings, But he who hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.” -Proverbs‬ ‭28:20‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So incredibly thankful for this essential oil blend. This last month and a half has been a hard one with lots of emotions, and this bottle has helped balance them. Getting older as a woman is hard, and this will be your best friend for many years.

So now it is time to rest, and get some schoolwork done. Thank you all for the prayers and remember, stay strong through achieved trials God has given you.

Uncategorized

I am Hopeful

img_3649

Psalms 27:13-14 NKJV – I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

T-minus 6 days until surgery and I am coming to terms with the fact that I will need 2 surgeries; possibly three depending on my appointment with the neurosurgeon on May 21st.  When I received the news from my gynecologist that I would need yet another hydro-distention for interstitial cystitis, and possible removal of endometriosis. I believe this would make number 5 for the hydro-distention and number 8 or 9 for endometriosis. Honestly I have lost count.

I have been pretty down knowing this news, and I am not quiet sure why it’s affecting me so much. It’s been hard to find the words, which is why I am just writing another blog post. Maybe the fact that I have been battling the endometriosis for 10 years, and it seems to continue to become worse. Maybe because I finally know my disabilities and it doesn’t even include the illnesses that affect me more on a daily basis because modern medicine doesn’t understand what I have. Who know’s but I am tired of anesthesia and procedures. But I must trust in God with everything.

img_3634

It’s honestly been a learning experience going through all of these “trials” I guess you would call them in life. People say, that God only gives us what we can handle, and I guess God must think I can handle more than I think I can myself. I couldn’t be getting through all of this without my family. They have been my rock going through all of this. They have been so understanding, and I couldn’t ask more. We have become closer throughout this whole process, which is something I never would’ve thought would happen. I have grown individually and spiritually, and thrive to grow even more. I am honestly excited about summer and all the activities that I will be able to do with the girls. Going back to school is one thing I am extremely excited about, since this is something I have wanted to always do, but it just hasn’t been the right timing. I have now realized that I am unable to do anything without God’s blessing and timing, which requires patience. If we would just listen and wait on God, maybe we wouldn’t hurt ourselves deep down inside, and maybe life would go a little smoother. Who knows, just glad that I realized this now and I am ready to continue to my less stressful life trust in God. So starting now, I am going to enjoy the little things and not stress the things (which is like everything) that is in God’s hands.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV – Trust in the Lord with al your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. 

img_3637

 

Uncategorized

Here goes nothing.

img_2848

I have been doing a lot of praying and thinking lately. I know there there is more for me out there than being chronically ill. Yes, I love being a mother and wife, but I strive and yearn for something that is for me. On Saturday we had family pictures, and while speaking to our photography, I realized exactly what was needed.

img_3568

While staring through these beautiful trees to the sunlight and the misty lake, I knew that photography was my calling, but that it would help with my well being and help me get through tough times being chronically ill. When I don’t feel good and know that I need to get out, I grab my camera, and when I am focusing on what is before me, I am able to forget about how I feel. When I see the beauty through my lens, I am even more comforted knowing just how powerful God is.

Today I completed my enrollment process in order to receive my portrait photography certificate and hope to continue to receive my associates degree, if that is what God has planned for me, either way, I am excited to further my education while I am working on health. Focusing on my education will help me get through my pain and struggles, and I am excited for that. My goal is to offer portrait photography at an affordable price for families and individuals who are in the same situation as me and my family, while also sharing my photos of my local area to the businesses in town. I also want to offer it to our church and help with our church website. Plus I can share what I learn with my older daughter who has her own interest in photography.

I start May 17th, so a day after my surgery, and I am more ready than ever. I will have something to do while laying in bed. If I can fight my illnesses, I can fight anything.