My Adventures, Uncategorized

Better Day.

What a wonderful after being extremely sick for the last three weeks. Today was my husbands birthday so we enjoyed the sunshine at one of our favorite towns. Felt so good to get out and about. Doesn’t that quinoa bowl look amazing! I brought half of it home for dinner.

About a week ago I decided to go gluten free and it’s already shown a huge difference, and most of my clothes are extremely loose. I guess I have a excuse to go shopping for new clothes. Hubby actually insisted on a beautiful black dress that was on clearance and a necklace he thought was perfect for me. I am excited to wear it for Mother’s Day and the ladies tea at church.

Like I said, the last the last three weeks have been rough. The first two was a fibromyalgia flare, followed by four days of sore muscles, nausea and migraines, and all the sudden I was just tired and yesterday everything happened at once. I finally went to the doctor and they thought I maybe had diverticulitis but thankfully I didn’t. It’s been rough and at nights it’s the worse, and I feel like giving up, but having my husband next to me every night and comforting me and lifting me up in Christ, I know that I must give this trial to God because he knows my future.

My family has been my rock. We spend all of our time together when the girls aren’t in school, which may change next school year depending if the girls want to be homeschooled or not; right now it’s up to them and based on my health and what God wants us to do. We have our little spits and arguments but we always come back together. Family is extremely important to my husband and I because we never had a strong family growing up. So far, I have literally everything I ever dreamed of.

Even though I struggle through my chronic illnesses, I know I must pick myself up and continue. Through prayer, I am able to bring myself together and move on. It’s never been that way, and it has meant I have had to give up many things that were of the world, but it’s been worth it.

Through the blood of Jesus Christ all my sins have been washed away, and because of that I am free and wish this upon everyone. I have fallen rock bottom many times but God picks me up when before I relied on other people or myself which made it even harder. God is the answer. Better is one day in his courts, as the worship song says.

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Holding On

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The last few weeks as I stated a few days ago have been rough for me. Not only did I go through a two week fibromyalgia flare, but after it ended I then had to go through the aftermath of sore and twitching muscles and fatigue. It’s been like this for many years.

I used to not do very well when I went through a long flare like this, but this time was different and it’s only by the grace of God that I was able to hold on.

May is going to be a month of “who knows”. Many appointments and procedures, but I am ready. God has a plan for me, and I am already being led down the path, I just have to hold on. I am going through these medical trials to shine the light for others, and I know that is what I have been called to do. It’s not always easy, but I can say with all certainty that it’s worth it and makes us stronger, but only if we stay in prayer and the word. I have been doing daily devotionals and reading through the Bible every day. I keep a prayer journal just because I have found it easier for me to pray while I write. Whatever works for you. Just give all your burdens and struggles to God, and you will be led and these trials will become easier to go through because you aren’t doing it alone.

I spent way to many years trying to figure out my health on my own, and that was a mistake. I had more stress and fell into a deep depression, but this last flare I found joy and became more thankful for what was given to me and my eyes were opened to just how blessed I was. Pretty clear that if we accept Jesus as our Savior and give our lives to Him, happiness becomes more evident.

So today when I went to church, I was reminded by how much we are loved and if we give our lives to Jesus Christ, we are new and cleansed, and will be carried through our trials. Plus, my church family is always there for me.

You don’t have to go through these trials alone. Give them to Jesus Christ and live your life for Him, and He will lead you and carry you through. He has with me and is continuing.

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Finally, Peace.

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What does it mean to have a sense of peace? This has been a discovery for myself, and I really started to question what it really meant to have peace. I have noticed I enjoy my quiet times of prayer, reading scripture, my books, the newspaper, and I used to never be that way, until pretty recently, and it was a very simple change I made that gave me my peace within.

As I grow more my faith, I have a much higher sense of peace than I have ever had before. I used to be a worry wart. Things would happen to me that I couldn’t control and I would stress out about it to the point I would throw myself into a flare. Literally, I was giving myself pain when it was unnecessary.

Finding such a loving church, I have peace knowing I have a community who supports me and loves me. Knowing my husband is there for me and everyday he lifts me and our children up with the Lord on a daily basis, that gives me peace. The fact that I know that I am imperfect and have sinned, and God still loves me, and with me accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and following His Word, that gives me peace.

Before I came back to my faith, I was miserable. There was no peace at all. I was bitter, angry, and felt a emptiness in my heart that I tried to fulfill with multiple things; hobbies, jobs, even business opportunities, nothing fulfilled the emptiness. I truly believe that was Satan holding onto me, because I was weak without staying faithful in my relationship with God. Yet, He has saved me over and over again from a destructive cycle of depression and anxiety that I would cause myself. Once we hand our lives back over to God, He is in control.

Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. -Psalms 55:22 NKJV

Hand your burdens to Him because He is there for us always. Why go through unnecessary pain when you are able to give all our burdens and worries to the God that created us and knows our future? The answer is you don’t have to. Pray to God, and He will release you from your pain, and you will finally be at peace. God is truthfully amazing, and I can promise you that.

 

 

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Faith

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Today has already been a rough day. The pain has been great, and honestly I have had a little trouble emotionally. I prayed to God asking what I should do to help me get through this, and He answered that I should focus on sharing my faith and story. It’s easy for me to get caught up with the fact that my body is going against me and I want to just bawl in bed, but instead I am praying every time I feel like crying, and God gives me peace.

Faith is something that I haven’t always had during my now decade long journey of chronic illnesses, and I can tell you during the time without it, I was miserable. With me being miserable, my family was miserable also. Without God, I can’t get through these trials.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of our faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that hew ill receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. -James 1:1-8 NKJV

Because I remain in faith, God has been showing me how faithful and righteous He really is. I am personally experiencing what the Bible tells us we will. He has even opened doors for me and my family that I never thought were a option. God’s plan and timing is perfect, and once we acknowledge that, you will feel peace as well. It breaks my heart when a fellow brother or sister in Christ loses their faith because of impatience. God’s timing is perfect, and many times He may say no to something we personally feel is best for us. God knows our future and by faith He will help us through this journey.

Faith is so important, it clearly states it in the book of James. Have you fully given your trials to God, or are you trying to tackle them yourself?

-Shanell